Why Nasir Came Early

Why Nasir Came Early

It has been 4 weeks since Nasir was born. He came into this world a true miracle and is perfect in every way. I am overjoyed that he is here, happy, healthy and growing like crazy. His due date was June 30th and throughout my high-risk pregnancy, it was understood that with so many health issues, surgeries, and not having a rectum or anus, the probability for me to deliver him in a traditional birth was going to be out of the question. I was told by not one, two, or three doctors but EVERY doctor on the team, that it would be the safest for me to have him via c-section and to do it a week before his due date. Although this didn’t coincide with my idea of the “ideal birth plan,” I ONLY cared about having a safe and healthy delivery for me and safe birth for him. It doesn’t matter how our babies enter the world, it only  matters that they arrive safely in our arms!

 

High Risk Pregnancy

Throughout my pregnancy, many of you are aware that I had numerous issues not only with my Crohn’s disease but also that I had to cease all my medications that keep my disease in remission. I also had severe Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, I had problems with tearing my adhesions and scar tissue from previous abdominal surgeries, I have a Septate Uterus, I had terrible sciatica, I had anemia, I lacked the nutritional support for myself and Nas because I don’t have my large intestine or parts of my small intestine, and I had a herniated ostomy that prolapsed. Because my anatomy isn’t like most, my intestine pooled to one side of my body and my baby was restricting the digestive flow. I also had the general issues of constant heartburn and swelling like a lot of moms-to-be deal with. I tried to be grateful, thankful, happy, joyful, and appreciative for this miracle; and I was. However, I won’t sugar-coat it, I was freaking miserable in my body. I hurt every single day and probably complained to Nate or my mom incessantly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. all while keeping a smile on my face and forging ahead because I kept telling myself that if this is the sacrifice I have to make to have him here, then I can do this! It was only temporary. My “this too shall pass” mantra was on repeat every moment of every day. I was miserable. But, just to be clear, I would do it ALL over in a heartbeat for this outcome. Nasir is magical…

 

Things weren’t going well

Over a month before I was to deliver, I was rushed by ambulance from the hospital in La Crosse, Wisconsin up to Mayo Clinic Hospital in Rochester, Minnesota because I had a severe infection and could not keep anything in. I needed IV support and to be monitored because they thought our baby would make an appearance MUCH earlier than we thought. I was so scared. I was alone in the ambulance with the lights and sirens going as we rushed down the highway. I knew Nate was somewhere in a car behind me, my mom also, but being alone and not knowing what would happen was terrifying.

Thankfully, the doctors were able to hold off delivering Nas and just treat the infection. I was hospitalized for about a week before going home, but we were advised that due to the complicated nature of my pregnancy, I would be on “bed rest” (which couldn’t actually be bed rest because I have a history of forming blood clots), so I took it really easy. The doctors recommended I move to temporary housing in Rochester to be closer to the hospital, and I was there a few days before things began to decline again. Read more about our Temporary Transition here.

 

We couldn’t wait any longer

Although I was advised to hold off on delivering Nasir for as long as possible to give him the best chance for development, the doctors also understood the gravity of my health situation and knew it would be dangerous to wait too long. Not long after my hospitalization, I was still having problems and was not doing well. I woke up on the Wednesday before he was born feeling terrible. My entire body felt like I had one big bruise covering every inch of my skin. EVERYTHING hurt. The slightest touch hurt, and I was swelling up like a balloon. I called, and the doctors said to meet them up at the hospital. My mom took me in because Nate was at work. After a short examination, the doctors suspected that my infection set off a full body flare of my Crohn’s disease. They couldn’t wait any longer. If they didn’t deliver him soon, I might have gone into labor and could have potentially faced a threatening situation where it would be too late to assemble the ENTIRE team of doctors necessary to bring Nasir into this world and keep me safe in the process. Not only was my disease creating a serious health risk, the baby was breech. There was no time left. It would be way too perilous to wait and risk going into labor and a vaginal delivery. Delivery was scheduled immediately for next morning.

I crumbled under the weight of everything and started to cry.

I wanted more time for him to develop. I was scared for him, what if something went wrong, I was worried about the risks, and the surgery and, and, and….and then I took a deep breath.

I called Nate at work.

“You need to come to Rochester right now. They are going to deliver our baby tomorrow morning…”

“Are you serious? Is this for real?”

“Yes, just please come as soon as you can. I need you…”

I don’t know if Nate could even think after that phone call, if he could even concentrate enough to finish his work for the day, or if he was on autopilot all the way up to Rochester. He made it up there by 10 pm that night and we stayed up nearly all night talking. He kept reassuring me the entire time that everything will be OK.

 

An assembly of sixteen

When Nate and I arrived at the hospital the next day, along with my mom, dad, and my brother, I was ushered into a room immediately. I was a bundle of nervous energy but also ready to meet my baby!!

Shortly after arriving, I was given an IV and little by little the entire assembly of doctors and nurses ushered in team by team to see me. All in all there would be 16 medical staff in the room with us to deliver Nasir. HOLY MACARONI!! 16!!! I was only allowed one other person with me, and of course that was Nate. I was then taken into the OR alone while he was told to get garbed up.

 

 

While I was in the OR, it was freezing. More IVs were placed. There were so many lights, so many machines, so many instruments, and so many people. I started to shake uncontrollably.  I was given an epidural and a spinal, but the placement was giving me issues. They kept telling me to sit still. I couldn’t stop shaking. I hugged a pillow tightly to my front while they put the needles in my spine. It took forever. At one point, I felt a severe pain in my hip. They hit a nerve and my leg involuntarily shot out and kicked without me doing it. Yeah, this wasn’t working. They moved it a little higher in my spine and it was better.

 

From there, things moved so fast.

I was put on a table with my arms spread out wide. I had all the IVs in me, they erected a curtain up in front of me. So many people ushered in and out. The anesthesiologists, the surgery team, the OB-GYN team, the colorectal team, the nurses..SO MANY people! That team of 16 was in full action!

I wanted Nate and asked them to check on him. They said he was outside pacing. I wanted him with me, and it wasn’t much longer and he was able to come back into the OR. As soon as he walked in, they started to open me up. The doctors were wonderful about talking me through every step. I had the best cheerleader by my side. Nate was incredible. The anesthesia team was also very supportive and kept encouraging me softly, cheering for me, kept me comfortable, and just made me feel safe. I get choked up just thinking of these moments–moments I wanted to be fully present to remember.

I started to feel a severe pain in my right shoulder and started to get afraid. I told the doctor and they said they had my uterus out. The uterus is connected to the nerves in the shoulder and the pain I was experiencing was called “referred pain.”

 

He’s here!

It was only moments later when we heard our baby’s tiny cries. Nate started sobbing, I started sobbing. They lifted him over the screen so we could see him. My first thought was how tiny he was. They quickly moved him to the warming table so Nate could trim the cord and the team moved fast to get all the baby stats. Within moments, they brought this tiny naked baby to me and laid him on my chest. I could barely see or breathe I was crying so hard. HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. So precious. My miracle.

 

 

 

It took some time for the surgeons to close me up because they had to clear out scar tissue from former surgeries. They excised my old scar from the time I had the wound vac, and cleaned all of that tissue to make my incision a cleaner closure. It took quite a while, but I wasn’t even paying a moment of attention to that. Instead I was counting toes and fingers, memorizing my little boys face, and through my tears and laughter, I was rejoicing in this miracle.

Read more about Nasir’s arrival and see more photos here.

 

We are a family

As I was wheeled into a recovery room, Nate went to tell my family that our baby arrived. We wanted a few minutes alone to relish our first moments as a family of three. We also had an overflow of emotion that was just indescribable and we wanted to bask in the intimacy of sharing these very personal feelings together.

I remember when they lifted our baby over the screen after we heard his cries. I recall looking at him and instantly knowing that his name in my heart would be Nasir, but I didn’t say anything. To be fair, I wanted to hear Nate’s thoughts about his name. As soon as I asked him what our baby’s name should be, he said Nasir! We both felt it. We both knew. His name is Nasir Nathan.

Nasir is a Pakistani/Arabic name that means “Victorious,” and there is no more appropriate name fitting to this little boy than that. After all I have been through, all the health struggles and trials, I look at him and I know it was all for this moment.

This miracle.

This victory.

~Nadia

 

The Cat’s Out of the (YARN) Bag!

The Cat’s Out of the (YARN) Bag!

It’s no secret that my battle with my health has been mostly an uphill one. Numerous surgeries have taken their toll on my body for the past ten years as I continue my fight. My Crohn’s disease has to be considered in every facet of my existence. My life, daily decisions, activity, diet, my body, and my future are ruled by this illness and how it will affect my daily living. After ten years, it is “Normal for Nadia” to be at the mercy of this condition. It just is that way. Like a habit, living with severe Crohn’s disease becomes part of my routine.

Doctor appointments, daily meds, regular testing, procedures, and so many details have worked their way into the fiber of my ordinary existence. Even getting married in March was overshadowed by the very real possibility that I may end up sick or in the hospital on our wedding day. It’s just the reality of living with chronic illness. Fortunately, adrenaline was my friend on March 17, 2018 and it helped carry my aching body through the day without incident! Our wedding was the most glorious day ever. Sure, I paid for it afterwards, but I would do all of that 1,000 times over just to relive that beautiful day!

Hardcore family planning

Nate and I always knew we wanted a family, we also knew that it would not be an easy path to having one. Several months after getting married, we sought help from my doctors to find out if I can safely support a pregnancy since I have such a challenging health history. I underwent a series of tests, some incredibly invasive (dignity be damned). A team of specialists were assembled to oversee my care if we were able to get pregnant. According to all these insane tests, there was no reason, despite my health battle, that I couldn’t get pregnant. We were so relieved! We were aware it would be very risky; the warnings from the medical staff came across loud and clear, but we have confidence in the high-risk team overseeing my care. They were very realistic but also reassuring. I was facing my 28th birthday, and although we weren’t aggressively trying, we weren’t being careful either. So, in early November–two days after my birthday–with symptoms that screamed that I might be pregnant, I went to the store and bought a half dozen pregnancy tests.

My internal dialogue was: “I just spent a small fortune on something I  am going to pee on. Who cares!??? I need answers!”

It all comes down to a (+) sign

It was a Friday afternoon, November 9th. My friend Sarah was coming to town for a visit, and I was planning on picking her up at the bus station in a few minutes. I only had a small window to privately check out my pregnancy suspicions. So like millions of women before me, I peed on the stick and nervously waited through the minutes that could change everything. I was pacing, nervous and fidgety. How do you distract yourself for those moments without constantly checking if you have your answer? If “a watched pot never boils,” does frantically fanning a pee stick prolong the results?! Because that 5 minutes felt like a flippin’ lifetime!

The test read (+) and I freaked out! I  called my mom on Skype immediately, and I was hyperventilating and crying and couldn’t get out what I needed to say. I completely freaked her out because she thought something tragic had happened. I couldn’t speak, and my dramatic reaction had her thinking the worst. I was able to show her the pregnancy test and get her expert opinion on what it was saying. (Like I didn’t already know, right?!) Were these tests saying what I thought they were saying?  Of course they were, but I needed Dr. Mom!!! She talked me through it and asked me what Nate said about it…

Oh. My. Gosh. Nate!!! I had yet to tell Nate! How did I not think of that?

She suggested that maybe I should have called him first! Oh my goodness, absolutely! I was a bit of a frantic mess. Where’s my coat?! I’m wearing it. Where are my keys?! In my hand! I had only a few minutes because Sarah’s bus was about to arrive!  I jumped in the car and decided to stop at his work! Woops! Was that a stop sign? Just kidding! I am grateful I didn’t receive a citation on the way to tell my husband!

We are having a baby… What do we do now?

Nate came out to the car and I had the test stick in a Ziploc bag. I told him I have to tell him something and without asking, he just said, “You’re pregnant.” I cried, I laughed, and I shoved the pee stick in the Ziploc at him and told him to look at it. We were so happy! He said he had a strong feeling. He knew. What emotions! So high, but then reality started to sink in like “What are we going to do now”? Even though we didn’t know what direction to take at that exact moment, we would figure it out together. We called my mom again from the car in the parking lot at Nate’s work. After talking to her, we knew I had to see my doctors first. We had to keep this quiet for a while. By all calculations, I was only about six to seven weeks along. Things were so precarious with my health and we wanted to make sure the pregnancy was viable and baby was healthy. We also needed to be sure I was fully healthy enough to actually support a pregnancy. On a scale from one to ten our emotions were off the chart. What ARE we going to do now?! GAHHH! WE ARE HAVING A BABYYYY!!

Game Face and A No Colon Surprise Party

Nate went back to work, and I had to pick up Sarah. How was I going to keep a straight face? How do I keep this from my best friend? Although I was busting to tell her to the point I was getting twitchy, I knew I couldn’t. I am the WORST at keeping a secret, God knows, and it was stressful to not blurt it out! I put on my best game face and decided to get it out of my mind (yeah, right!) and enjoy the weekend. Little did I know that the reason Sarah was really coming to visit was because my mom, Nate, Sarah and Nida were planning a surprise party to celebrate my birthday tied into a No Colon, Still Rollin’ – 10 years later party! WHAT IS HAPPENING!??? Saturday afternoon my entire family and all my friends surprised me and I couldn’t say a word to any of them! I ate three poop emoji cupcakes just from the stress of it all. Only Nate and my parents knew, and I couldn’t talk to them with everyone around! Again, ALL THE EMOTIONS!!!

Thank goodness for poop emoji cupcakes. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Well, it’s true! We’re pregnant.

I scheduled my first appointment and we had our first ultrasound. I knew going into this that it wouldn’t be easy. Nausea, heartburn, extreme fatigue, restless legs, extremely sensitive boobs that have grown 10 times their size, body pains off the charts, visits to the ER to check scary symptoms caused by adhesions from past surgical scar tissue, phantom sharp pains in my non-existent anus, my ostomy is shifting to the side as my tummy begins to grow, the scars on my tummy are being stretched, back pain, sciatic pain, vivid dreams and nightmares, itchiness, sleeplessness, aversion to certain foods, no appetite to ravishing hunger, even more profound vitamin deficiency (particularly folic acid and magnesium), chronic asthma symptoms to the point I need my rescue inhaler constantly and now a nebulizer, and more issues are plaguing me night and day, and I’m only past my first trimester!

But, it’s all worth it.

Especially at that very moment when we saw our baby on the ultrasound.

Suddenly, it all became real. We heard the heartbeat and we laughed and cried.

We called it our “little bean.”

We instantly fell in love.

Our baby is due in June 2019, and our hearts are so full.

What now, doc?

We had our first minor complication. There was a subchorionic hemorrhage (a blood clot) that was found on the ultrasound. The doctor said it happens in implantation, and unless I had excessive bleeding (I was only having some bleeding), not to worry too much about it, and it would be monitored.  I also had to cease a bunch of my medications. In stopping the meds, I risk some complications, but I have been managing things pretty well. One medication I can’t stop is my biologic injection. I am so worried about taking it, but I can’t risk getting sick to the point it would put me and baby in danger. My team has warned me over and over not to stop it.

I have to be truthful, I was contemplating stopping my biologic injection. The grave warnings from all my doctors have me reconsidering as I face having to take it this week. There is no evident risk to baby, but to me, if I stop, it would be very grave. I could become too ill and not be well enough to sustain the pregnancy, putting both of us at risk. Every doctor concurs. I do have to stop taking it at thirty weeks into the pregnancy to best insure that baby comes into this world the strongest and healthiest it can be. I am concerned without the protection of any medication to control my disease, my body won’t cooperate. I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am scared. I won’t lie, I know what I am facing, and I know it will be worth it, but I also know this isn’t going to be an easy journey. Nothing this wonderful ever is. I have learned this lesson over and over in my life; I am familiar with how this goes. I am familiar with the bargaining process.

Now we are three!

We are now in the planning stage. I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, and have been following all the doctors’ instruction and am closely monitored. I am also chronicling my pregnancy on The Bump Phone App! According to the app, today our baby is about the size of a lemon! I have regular doctor appointments both with my standard team as well as a high-risk OB-GYN in Rochester, Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic. I couldn’t ask for a better crew of docs overseeing our care! They are so thorough. My last appointment with the specialist was two hours! We are in great hands, and we’re hopeful that things will continue to go well. I just pray that I stay healthy and strong for our little sweet pea. My heart is so full and all I want is to provide the best for this tiny baby despite my challenges.

Merry Christmas to Us!

We told Nyle, Nabeel, Samantha and Des over Thanksgiving. We also went to visit Nate’s dad and gave him a special “Grandpa” shirt.

We also told Nate’s brothers that weekend, too.  Other than immediate family and a couple close friends, we decided to wait and reveal our news to everyone else over Christmas! Our family and friends are elated, and some told me they “just had that feeling!”

Today, I wanted to share this with our YARNutopians now that our extended families and close friends received the news. Now, my crochet project list grows! Baby stuff galore! I already have some baby projects on our agenda! What an exciting year of crochet we have ahead of us! I hope to continue with our filming and projects as long as I can and will continue after baby’s arrival! We all have so much to look forward to in the New Year. Not only are we expecting a new addition, but my brother and his wife are also expecting a new baby in January! So many reasons to crochet! Haha! I am excited and filled with joy to share our news with all of you. Cheers to 2019! Thanks for being with us on this crazy and wonderful journey!

“You are so loved, little one.”

~Your Mommy and Daddy

~Nadia and Nate

Crochet Tutorial: Caterpillar Lovey

Crochet Tutorial: Caterpillar Lovey

I’m going to “bug” you a little bit to tell you this blog is “crawling” with something new for your crochet hook! This cuddly Caterpillar Lovey project will provide an infant comfort and security! This silly, lovable little guy makes me smile every time I look at him and it’s sure to be a big hit with the lil’ ones!

Make it in as many colors as you’d like!! The possibilities are endless!!

Follow along with this video tutorial to learn how to make this lovey:

 

**You can always contact me via Facebook if you have any problems with the pattern. I am happy to help if you have any questions along the way.
***These patterns are copyright YARNutopia © so PLEASE DO NOT COPY, SHARE, ADJUST OR RESELL MY PATTERN. I wrote and tested this pattern myself, from beginning to end. It took a lot of time and work, and I would really like to have it remain “my pattern.”
***You can sell anything you make from my patterns, please just link back to my website YARNutopia.com. Thank you!Teacher: Nadia Fuad
Video and Editing: Fuad Azmat (My Daddy)
Share your work on Facebook!
Add me on Snapchat: YARNutopia
Follow me on Instagram
Visit My Ravelry Store and add this to your Favorites!
Follow me on Twitter: @YARNutopia
Enjoy this video and subscribe to my channel on YouTube for more tutorials on how to crochet!
Leave a comment, and share with your friends!

Please check out the new beginning graphic designed and developed by my brother Nabeel. He and his wife own and operate NFD Graphics. Please hop over to their Facebook page and show them some love! For all your graphic and video/logo design needs be sure to contact them today!
www.nfdgraphics.com

Pattern
:

“Designed by Nadia Fuad
You *may* sell items made from my pattern, but please reference my website YARNutopia.com.
Please do not copy, sell, and/or post this pattern and claim it as your own.


Shop Red Heart, America's Favorite Yarn

Materials:
***Click here to get the whole KIT!!***

Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Pink
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Spring Green
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Jade
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Bright Yellow
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Orange
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Glowworm
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Delft Blue
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Buff
Red Heart Super Saver in Black
Red Heart Super Saver in White
H-5.00mm Crochet Hook
Yarn Needle
Scissors
Polyfil

You can buy any of the items in this kit. Buy all or buy one item. Check it out to see the supplies you can get online to make this Lovey!

NOTES:

-This project uses less than 200 yards of yarn.
-Use a smaller hook to make these smaller
-Use a bigger hook to make these bigger
-Watch the FULL video tutorial for visual instructions for each row and tips on how to make this smaller and bigger.
-Weave in all the ends as you go so you don’t have to weave them all in at the very end.
-If the instructions above are confusing, please message me on Facebook, and I will answer any questions you may have. Please be specific in your questions. Thank you!!
-The measurements for this Lovey is 18 inches but you can make yours as big as you’d like!


Shop Red Heart, America's Favorite Yarn

Special stitches:
Ch(s): chain(s)
YO: Yarn Over
St(s): Stitch(es)
BLO: Back Loops Only
prev.: Previous
Sl st: slip stitch
SC: Single Crochet
SC2TOG: Single crochet decrease
DC: Double Crochet

Pattern:

If you have any confusion or difficulty with reading this pattern, please watch the video tutorial to have visual instructions.

Lovey:
Ch 4
Rnd 1: 2 DC in 4th Ch from hook, [Ch 2, 3 DC in same CH] 3 times, ch 1, SC in beg. ch 3, Ch 2, Turn.
Rnd 2: DC in same corner sp, *DC in each st until next corner, [2DC, ch 2, 2 DC] in corner, repeat from * around put 2 DC around SC from previous round to finish off beg. corner. Ch 1, SC in Ch 2, Ch 2, Turn.
Round 3-15: Repeat Round 2 Change colors after Round 13
See video tutorial for visual instructions
Fasten off, weave in all ends.

Eyes:
With White
Ch 2
Rnd 1: 6 SC in 2nd ch from hook. (6)
Fasten off with long tail for sewing
Embroider Black Dots for the pupils

Antennae: Make 2
With Yellow
Ch 2
Work in BLO and in continuous rounds
Rnd 1: 6 SC in 2nd ch from hook. (6)
Rnd 2: 2 SC in each st around. (12)
Rnd 3: [SC2TOG] 6 times. (6)
Rnd 4-8: SC in each st around. (6)
Fasten off with long tail for sewing.

Head:
With Glow Worm
Ch 2
Work in BLO and in continuous rounds
Rnd 1: 6 SC in 2nd ch from hook. (6)
Rnd 2: 2 SC in each st around. (12)
Rnd 3: [2SC in next st, SC in next st] 6 times. (18)
Rnd 4: [2SC in next st, SC in next 2 sts] 6 times. (24)
Rnds 5-6: SC in each st around. (24)
Rnd 7: [2SC in next st, SC in next 3 sts] 6 times. (30)
Rnd 8: SC in each st around. (30)
Rnd 9: [2SC in next st, SC in next 4 sts] 6 times. (36)
Rnds 10-11: SC in each st around. (36)
Assembly Step:
Sew on the antennae and the eyes
Continue crocheting the head
Rnd 12: [SC2TOG, SC in next 4 sts] 6 times. (30)
Rnd 13: [SC2TOG, SC in next 3 sts] 6 times. (24)
Rnd 14: [SC2TOG, SC in next 2 sts] 6 times. (18)
Stuff Head
Rnd 15: [SC2TOG, SC in next st] 6 times. (12)
Rnd 16: [SC2TOG] 6 times. (6)
Fasten off with long tail for sewing.

Feet: Make 6
With Jade
Ch 2
Rnd 1: 6 SC in 2nd ch from hook. (6)
Fasten off with long tail for sewing

Body Circles:
Make 1 in Buff (4 Rounds)
Make 1 in Pumpkin (4 Rounds)
Make 1 in Spring Green (3 Rounds)
Make 1 in Yellow (2 Rounds)
Ch 2
Rnd 1: 6 SC in 2nd ch from hook, sl st to 1st SC, ch 1. (6)
Rnd 2: 2 SC in each st around, Sl st to 1st SC, ch 1. (12)
Rnd 3: [2SC in next st, SC in next st] 6 times, sl st to 1st SC, ch 1. (18)
Rnd 4: [2SC in next st, SC in next 2 sts] 6 times, Sl st to 1st SC. (24)
Fasten off with long tail for sewing

Assembly Step:
Sew Body to Lovey and all the body pieces as well. Use the photos as a guide to sew on your pieces.

Enjoy!!

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you click on the link and buy from the linked websites, I will receive a small percentage of the value of your order. The amount you pay is not changed.
The yarn provided for this pattern is courtesy of Red Heart Yarns


Shop Red Heart, America's Favorite Yarn

Like this Lovey?? Try the Mini Square Bunny Lovey next!!

Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC



Online Crochet Class

Saving Bundle - Hand Bended Silk Yarn


CLICK.BUY. CREATE. Shop Michaels.com today!