Where’s Nadia?

Where’s Nadia?

Lately, I have been receiving quite a few inquiries asking for new crochet video tutorials. So many of you have been kind and thoughtful to reach out to ask if everything is ok simply because I haven’t posted videos or new content for a while. A lot has been happening and many of the recent events have made it difficult to find time to post or film.

We are halfway through a rough year.

Covid quarantine had already hindered my video production because it was difficult to film, travel, get together with my parents to help with my posts. During this time, Nate and I noticed Nas was not meeting his baby/toddler milestones. We chalked it up to being so isolated from other kids and lack of activities because who has any data about raising babies during a pandemic? Naturally, we didn’t want to think there was anything amiss, but over time we noticed Nasir was falling further and further behind on meeting these markers. He wasn’t responding to his name when called, he was transfixed on specific shows, his attention span was non-existent, he had no fear of danger, he wouldn’t parallel play, didn’t listen, didn’t make eye contact, began hitting aggressively because he was unable to communicate only a few words, he had very little verbal skills and much of what he gained would be lost after one or two days. Yet, here he is so silly, adventurous, funny, smart and just being our cute little Nasir in so many other remarkable ways, we didn’t know if these things we were observing were ok or should we be concerned? He is our first child, so we had no way to fully know.

One or two of these things would be no cause for alarm, but we started adding up more and more then questioning more and more until we couldn’t deny the fact that we might be dealing with something more than just the lack of socialization because of the stay at home order.

Tests, Tests, and more Tests

We took Nas to doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist and to make a long story short, the doctors and specialists have told us he is on the Autism Spectrum. In some of his abilities, he is excelling and is testing in a much higher percentile. In other ways, he is testing quite low. He is struggling with language the most which he is currently testing at an 8-9 month level. He is almost 26 months old at the time I’m posting this. Nate and I felt heartbroken at first, but not for long. We put ourselves into 5th gear and did all the things within our power to make things easier for Nas.


Our lives are turned upside down

We have speech therapy and occupational therapy in home (Finally! It was virtual for the first few months because of Covid) The therapists we have in-home were instrumental in pointing us in the right direction to get Nasir the help and support he needs. We were recently approved for even more early intervention programs which we have learned are extraordinary in what they are able to do to help Nas. We are hopeful and optimistic. Although we have to wait a short bit to enroll him for those programs, there is a beginning in sight!

Oh my heart…

Nasir is our whole world. His struggles and his energy have kept our hands and hearts full. There has been little to no time to do more than take care of him, keep up with his never-ending energy, and get him the best resources we can to help him navigate this challenging path. Our entire life has been devoted to his care and to the success he can achieve by this early intervention. I know that this is a process and I have to trust the process, but I am not going to lie, I have cried a million tears, I have filled out thousands of pages of paperwork, I have made a hundred phone calls and some days it still doesn’t feel like enough. I have some serious mom guilt. I can’t even describe it. We are tired, worn out, frustrated at times, hard on ourselves, you name it, we have felt it. I don’t leave the house for days because it’s just too much. We go to my parents’ house for a break from time to time because they are such a big help for us when we are exhausted.

This has tested us as parents, it has tested us as a husband and wife. But at the end of the day, we have this incredibly sweet boy who needs us SO much. Our hearts explode with the love and need to keep him safe and happy and do whatever we can to get him to reach all of his potential. One day, we are hopeful that we may hear him say Mama and Dada..

One day at a time

I haven’t forgotten about my YARNutopian family. Quite the contrary – in fact, I actually feel so anxious to get back to my crochet, but I simply have to sacrifice something in order to manage life right now. I am still working, but very minimally. I still check in every day and post older links to some fun patterns I’ve shared in the past. I have great expectations in the mornings, but by mid-day I am wiped out by the challenges we have in our home at the moment. This is hard.

I am currently working on a new crochet project. It’s going at a snail’s pace, but it is going. I am trying to navigate this new chapter of our lives while giving myself some grace to be ok with the status quo. When the time comes, Nasir will have some one-on-one time with specialists who will provide what he needs to help him talk and reach his goals, then I will have a few hours each day of respite to get back to crochet. In the meantime, I appreciate your patience, support, and understanding as we keep moving forward. Please continue to watch my videos, visit my blog, and support my pages. I promise, I will be back.

With love and hugs,


73 responses

  1. Send you a big hug….
    i have 3 autistic boys….
    crochet was, and is still my therapy….
    my twin’s are now 13, and my baby boy is almost 12….
    there’s no word to say how much is difficult for a parent to receive that diagnosis…
    just keep in your mind your son is still the same baby boy that you love so much… but now, all your universe, all your life will change… not his life, but yours. You’ll have to adapt your methods, the safety of your house, your understanding of his universe… Some days gonna be easy, some days gonna be really hard… But at the end, results gonna be the all the same, you’re gonba be so proud of all his progress….
    just be sure to have help for you… It’s hard for a mother, and for a father, to accept that our precious child is different. But you will do it. And sometimes, you’ll need break, WITH your hudsband… dont forget that before to be a family, you are a couple… Stay strong together, and It may be long, but you’ll do it…

  2. My heart and prayers are with you. You have such a beautiful family and taking care of them is always 1st. I believe it will get better as time goes on esp with all the help and support the medical and yarn community are giving!

  3. You have our prayers and support. As a mom and grandmother, I understand that there are times when other things must be set aside for your baby, your family. Being an advocate for your beautiful son and educating yourself is most important right now.
    You have given us a treasure trove of content. We will be here when you’re ready.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story. So glad you know about the support out there for your son.. I work in the field and I’m thrilled you’re getting all the help you need now for your son’s future success.🥰

  5. He’s such a cute little guy !!! I pray for his helth and yours. As much as we miss your post. We understand you need to take care of your and your family first. Praying for you all

  6. I totally understand where you are in your journey. My oldest has sensory processing disorder. It runs parallel to autism symptoms. We found our at about 2 years old even though I told his pediatrician something was amiss at 8-9 months old. We had to switch pediatricians to get heard. He didn’t talk or get potty trained until he was 4 years old. He’s 14 now and he can give you a detailed run down of car engines or anything lego. It was a wild and exhausting ride yet we made it.

    Good job mama and daddy! Keep fighting for him, give him all the tools you can for him to use his uniqueness as a super power. No one in the world is quite like him and that is a gift! Just understand that he’s not special needs, he’s differently abled. His different abilities from others will make him the super special young man he is meant to be!

  7. You have to put him first. We all understand that. I can’t wait to see your new video. But take your time. We will still be here. Love and prayer.

  8. Please look into what you are feeding your sweetie. Food and chemicals in food affect kids especially autistic. Red dye 40 is in so many foods, the FDA still approves it but it is a neurotoxin in the brain. Aspartame (goes by many names including Splenda) is in sugar-free drinks and foods and has been proven to cause many diseases including Multiple Sclerosis, which I have. I drank and ate sugar-free products for 40+ years before learning this. A family member’s child is on the Spectrum and their young boy is doing so much better when they eliminated certain things from his diet (including Red dye 40. PLEASE look into these studies for helping Nasir and your whole family.

    • Thank you, I have done so much research on this and talked to Nasir’s doctor and they said to eliminate some things like the artificial sugars and limit gluten including the red dye but not to exclude dairy or natural sugars as he’s still so young and needs the calcium. I have adjusted his diet because he wouldn’t eat regular solid foods for a while, and now that he’s eating solid food he shoves too much in his mouth which scares me that he could choke.. We are learning but we do eat a high protein, high veggies and fruit diet currently. He gained 4 words in one week and he’s singing/humming the melody to some songs now. We are extremely hopeful. 😊

  9. I immediately wrote a response to this post, then deleted it as I wanted to really write what I meant to say. I understand where your head and heart are. Mom to a 9 year old non verbal autistic son and a 7 year old autistic daughter. They are the joys of my life. Your family is starting a journey that is hard but is also so rewarding. My heart goes out to you and your family and I am sending strength to you. It truly does take a village.
    Something my daughter’s diagnosing physician said has stuck with me for years.
    “She is still the same amazing little girl you walked through those doors with…she is just going to receive the help she needs now”.
    Your son is and will continue to be the light in your life and all his accomplishments will be wonderful, whether small or large.

  10. Oh Sweet Nadia and Family. I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are dealing with. My Grandson is Autistic. But I want to tell you what a joy he is to our Family. He has such a tender heart. He too has hitting spells and little verbal communication. His vision is very bad and yet when he looks into my eyes I can see directly into his world. The struggles are huge that’s true, but the rewards of his love are bigger. Hang in there. You have such a beautiful soul that knows true challenges of a hard life as you have lived them first hand with you own health issues. Please know that your Crochet Family will be keeping you and your Family in our daily thoughts, prayers and meditations. 💜

  11. He’s such a sweetie pie. I will keep you all in my prayers. Please take care and know we all care for you and your family.

  12. As always I find you an an amazing woman… Thank you for sharing your story with us, I continue to pray for strength and calm for your bodies and soul

  13. You are very strong and I can see the love between you three. He’s so adorable and you both will get through this. One day you’ll look at the blessing, your little boy is and will always be. My love to you all and my prayers are with you.
    God’s hands over you and your family.

    Linda Murray

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