The Rewarding Journey of Being a Foster Parent

The Rewarding Journey of Being a Foster Parent

Good Morning, YARNutopia! Shannon (Nadia’s mom), here. 

Many of you may not be aware that Fuad and I are licensed foster parents. We have been working with kids and fostering for three years. We can truly say that it has been a challenging, yet rewarding, journey. It has always been in our hearts to open our home to children in the foster care system. We underwent the necessary process to get licensed in 2020, and we are currently a Level 4, Trauma-Informed Foster home. Our focus has been on, but not limited to, teenagers and/or sibling groups. 

Foster parenting is a role that involves opening one’s heart and home to children in need. This commitment involves the entire family. As you have learned through the years, we have adult children that are married, and we have grandchildren. This isn’t something we have taken lightly. We know that it impacts everyone in our circle – both our immediate and extended family. It is a journey that requires immense dedication, love, patience, and compassion. Being a foster parent not only transforms the lives of vulnerable children, but also has had an impact on us and our entire family. Here, we will explore the unique and experiences of being a foster parent, the challenges it entails, and the substantial positive difference it makes in the lives of children.

One important facets of being a foster parent is consistency in the home. One of the best ways  we are able to provide that, for me, is my ability to work from home and always be available for the children in our care. With being behind the scenes at YARNutopia, Wood Be Fancy, and our other small business, this allows me the flexibility to do that. It also has provided a point of interest for most kids. Nadia has taught many of our teens how to crochet. They have LOVED being able to create. It is a small building block to growing their confidence and self esteem. We are so grateful for this platform and its ability to provide us this opportunity, that we never take that for granted.  

Foundation for Fostering

  1. Providing Stability and Love:

    One of the most significant contributions we, as foster parents, can offer is a stable and nurturing environment for children who have experienced trauma or neglect. We try to create a safe haven where children can heal, grow, and feel loved. We provide stability, support, and a sense of belonging. Being part of our family becomes the foundation upon which these children can rebuild their lives. This is a huge responsibility and one we do not take lightly. In the past three years, we have had several children in our home who have gone on to adoption or reunification. We also have provided respite for other foster parents. The foundation we provided has helped them to cope by having tools to use in their lives well beyond their time with us. 

  2. Fostering Growth and Development:

    We play a vital role in facilitating the growth and development of children in our care. We provide educational assistance, encourage extracurricular activities, and nurture talents and interests. Many of the children are often so entrenched in trying to navigate through chaos that they do not have an opportunity to experience what life is like to BE A CHILD. Here, in our home, they can learn how to actually be a kid. A kid who can build friendships, go to birthday parties, join a sport or activity, do homework. A kid who can begin to find out who they are outside of the life they were living prior to being placed in our care. We do this by providing a structured routine and opportunities for growth in an environment that is calm and loving.

    Fuad and I work to empower children to reach their full potential and have an opportunity to succeed in life. We have witnessed children who were not able to read, LEARN to read. We witness what the simple act of reading can do to open up their world. We have taught teens to drive, how to get their first job, learn banking, try their hand at cooking, and MANY other life skills. These are some of the most basic things we take for granted, but they can be so difficult to maneuver or navigate for a child placed foster care. 

  3. Emotional Support and Encouragement:

    The emotional well-being of foster children is vital for their development. We fill many roles in this area. We offer a listening ear, empathetic understanding, and unwavering support during very challenging times. We work to help children process their emotions, build resilience, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. None of which are easy for a child who has been through so much trauma. Something such as personal hygiene can be a challenge for kids, or even for them to talk about, when they have never had anyone there to teach them.  Through continuous encouragement and belief in these children, we can instill confidence and inspire them to overcome adversity.

    It takes time. Some days you feel defeated. I cannot even count how many times Fuad and I were ready to throw in the towel because this was so difficult. Yet, we wake up every day and keep going. Yes, there are hard days, but there is a bigger purpose.  When you witness pieces of the transformation a child begins to experience in a loving environment, it is a remarkable feeling. There are literally NO words to describe it. 

  4. Long Lasting Relationships:

    Foster parenting is not just about providing temporary care; it is about building meaningful and lasting relationships. Fuad and I have become mentors and role models. We work to create lifelong connections for the children we care for. Even after they leave foster care, the bond between us and the children who have been in our care has been established. We continue the relationship beyond our home, providing a source of guidance and support as they navigate into adulthood. We have always maintained that we are just a phone call or text message away. There is something very special about receiving that text message long after a child has left your care. This past May, one of our teens we fostered reached out to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Pretty cool, right? 
  5. Advocating for Children’s Rights:

    Foster parents are also powerful advocates for the rights of children in our care. We have worked alongside case managers, educators, and healthcare providers to ensure the well-being and best interests of the children are met. We advocate for access to quality education, healthcare services, and necessary resources, empowering children to thrive in every aspect of their lives.

  6. Overcoming Challenges:
    Foster parenting is not without its challenges. We have to navigate complex legal systems, cope with the trauma experienced by the children, and adapt to diverse backgrounds and needs. We have experienced how to deal with behavioral issues, mental health challenges, and much more as a result of what children in our care have experienced prior to being placed in our care. However, with resilience, patience, and unconditional love, we begin to triumph over these obstacles, creating a supportive and nurturing environment for the children we care for.

Final Thoughts

Being a foster parent is a remarkable journey filled with love, compassion, and personal growth. It offers an opportunity to make a lasting impression in the lives of vulnerable children, providing them with stability, love, and a chance to flourish. Foster parents create a nurturing environment, foster growth and development, and advocate for children’s rights. That dedication and selflessness can have a profound impact, shaping the lives of children and leaving an indelible mark on their hearts.

Foster care is not for the faint of heart, trust me, this is not an easy path to walk. It can often be filled with frustration, heartbreak, and a myriad of feelings that make you question your sanity at times. Yet,there will be days when all of it will just fall away for that perfect moment when you are having a spontaneous living-room dance party with smiling, laughing children who are caught in the joy of a Bruno Mars song. For those brief moments their trauma doesn’t rule their every second of their day. Instead, they are floating free and thriving in your care. Those are the moments we hold on to. 


To all the foster parents out there, WE SEE YOU! WE understand you! And, WE believe in you!

~Shannon and Fuad 


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Life is Changing

Life is Changing

It’s been quite a while since I have last written an update both regarding my health and also Nasir’s diagnosis of autism. As far as my health goes, I feel I’m in the best place I have been in years. I have occasional setbacks, but over-all I have been feeling very good. I’ve been following up with doctors, continuing my biologic medication, and trying to practice a healthier lifestyle. I have been going to the fitness center several days a week. The gym is two-fold. One, for my physical and mental health, and secondly for Nasir. He is socializing with his peers more and more, and the gym’s childcare services provide an opportunity for him to do just that.

Where we started

Since I last blogged about this, we were in the middle of a whirlwind of overwhelming hits coming at us from every direction. Nas wasn’t meeting his appropriate age mile markers. I was battling my own health issues with my Crohn’s disease and mental health, the most difficult being post-partum depression and anxiety. You can read more here.

Soon after the doctors told us Nasir was on the Autism Spectrum, we were thrust into a new normal of therapies of all kinds. Speech, behavioral, occupational, and more. Nasir was nearly two years old and other than making some babble sounds, he didn’t say actual words, mimic our sounds, answer or respond to his name, he wouldn’t make eye contact often, he played independently from other children (other kids didn’t interest him much), he obsessively watched or paid attention to only certain things like specific TV shows that he watched over and over. We would discount or rationalize them, or chalk it up to other things – “maybe it’s his hearing” or “he was born a little early, he’s just a little delayed.”

What came next

Getting the diagnosis of ASD was bittersweet for our family. It’s one of the most overwhelming things to process, but we also have a solid reason for the why’s we were experiencing. We could finally move forward with all the wonderful resources our community has to offer.

Where we are now

Nasir is in therapy nearly every day. He is now talking non-stop. He has lots to talk about and share. He has big opinions and now that he has discovered his voice, he is eager to discover new words, things and experiences. He loves adventure, to play, and to build. He swims and loves the park. He has friends and learns a lot from parallel play. He recently started dancing and his love of music has always been strong. Magna-tiles have opened up his imagination, and he is a master at building castles. He sings, counts, says the alphabet, and identifies so many objects we see throughout the day. He loves his family. Mama and Daddy are his favorite people followed by his grandparents, all his aunties, uncles, cousins and his amazing therapists. He loves reading books, and presently, The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is his favorite TV show. (We shout “OH TOODLES” a dozen times a day!)

We have come SO FAR in a just under a year. The therapies have provided Nate and I small windows in our day to have a break. Despite Nasir’s achievements, he is still demonstrating behavior that do not allow us many moments for breaks. He’s still a wild toddler, of course, but he also never sits still, his attention span is very short. We are having less meltdowns, but they still occur daily. My entire life is devoted to this sweet boy and facing all the challenges that come our way.

Moving ahead

When I do get a chance, I’m trying to get back into my crochet. I feel that spark coming back. I feel several sparks returning. I’m beginning to feel more like myself. Therapy has helped – my own therapy. It’s been life-changing. Little by little, I have been able to piece myself back together. I’m stronger than I have been in a long time. I can do hard things, and I’m doing them every day. If Nas is doing hard things, then I need to continue to set an example and do the same. We continue to take baby steps toward doing more crochet projects and hopefully soon, things will be back into full-swing.

I am currently working on one crochet project per month, and I have a goal of doing 3 to 4 projects per month like I used to do. At the time of creating this blog post, I am anticipating planning out our Halloween costumes for the family this year. You know we have to go all out like every year! Can’t wait to share what we have up our sleeve in 2022!

 

Here are some fun pictures we took this summer!

 

 

 

 

Thank You

Thank You

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who took the time to read my latest blog post regarding my absence from YARNutopia lately and the next chapter we are heading into with our son Nasir. I have been overwhelmed with so many emotions from the outpouring of love and supportive kind words you left on my posts, in my messages, and the texts I received all day.

There is no way for me to individually reply to all of you, but just know I read every word and took it all to heart. I appreciate all the openness you shared from your personal experiences with friends, family members, or even first-hand experiences with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I am currently educating myself on all the different types of therapies and discussing with the specialists what they advise in helping Nasir progress. We hope to see some changes in the first month of this new therapy. We are extremely hopeful.

Reading all the comments and messages that flooded in gave me so much encouragement and hope for my little guy. I know he will accomplish great things in his life, and luckily, we can be his advocates for his success.

In the meantime, please continue to support YARNutopia by sharing my patterns, watching my videos on YouTube, visiting my blog, and purchasing the Wood Be Fancy Crochet Hooks. That helps tremendously during this transition!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you all,

Nadia

 

Where’s Nadia?

Where’s Nadia?

Lately, I have been receiving quite a few inquiries asking for new crochet video tutorials. So many of you have been kind and thoughtful to reach out to ask if everything is ok simply because I haven’t posted videos or new content for a while. A lot has been happening and many of the recent events have made it difficult to find time to post or film.

We are halfway through a rough year.

Covid quarantine had already hindered my video production because it was difficult to film, travel, get together with my parents to help with my posts. During this time, Nate and I noticed Nas was not meeting his baby/toddler milestones. We chalked it up to being so isolated from other kids and lack of activities because who has any data about raising babies during a pandemic? Naturally, we didn’t want to think there was anything amiss, but over time we noticed Nasir was falling further and further behind on meeting these markers. He wasn’t responding to his name when called, he was transfixed on specific shows, his attention span was non-existent, he had no fear of danger, he wouldn’t parallel play, didn’t listen, didn’t make eye contact, began hitting aggressively because he was unable to communicate only a few words, he had very little verbal skills and much of what he gained would be lost after one or two days. Yet, here he is so silly, adventurous, funny, smart and just being our cute little Nasir in so many other remarkable ways, we didn’t know if these things we were observing were ok or should we be concerned? He is our first child, so we had no way to fully know.

One or two of these things would be no cause for alarm, but we started adding up more and more then questioning more and more until we couldn’t deny the fact that we might be dealing with something more than just the lack of socialization because of the stay at home order.

Tests, Tests, and more Tests

We took Nas to doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist and to make a long story short, the doctors and specialists have told us he is on the Autism Spectrum. In some of his abilities, he is excelling and is testing in a much higher percentile. In other ways, he is testing quite low. He is struggling with language the most which he is currently testing at an 8-9 month level. He is almost 26 months old at the time I’m posting this. Nate and I felt heartbroken at first, but not for long. We put ourselves into 5th gear and did all the things within our power to make things easier for Nas.

 

Our lives are turned upside down

We have speech therapy and occupational therapy in home (Finally! It was virtual for the first few months because of Covid) The therapists we have in-home were instrumental in pointing us in the right direction to get Nasir the help and support he needs. We were recently approved for even more early intervention programs which we have learned are extraordinary in what they are able to do to help Nas. We are hopeful and optimistic. Although we have to wait a short bit to enroll him for those programs, there is a beginning in sight!

Oh my heart…

Nasir is our whole world. His struggles and his energy have kept our hands and hearts full. There has been little to no time to do more than take care of him, keep up with his never-ending energy, and get him the best resources we can to help him navigate this challenging path. Our entire life has been devoted to his care and to the success he can achieve by this early intervention. I know that this is a process and I have to trust the process, but I am not going to lie, I have cried a million tears, I have filled out thousands of pages of paperwork, I have made a hundred phone calls and some days it still doesn’t feel like enough. I have some serious mom guilt. I can’t even describe it. We are tired, worn out, frustrated at times, hard on ourselves, you name it, we have felt it. I don’t leave the house for days because it’s just too much. We go to my parents’ house for a break from time to time because they are such a big help for us when we are exhausted.

This has tested us as parents, it has tested us as a husband and wife. But at the end of the day, we have this incredibly sweet boy who needs us SO much. Our hearts explode with the love and need to keep him safe and happy and do whatever we can to get him to reach all of his potential. One day, we are hopeful that we may hear him say Mama and Dada..

One day at a time

I haven’t forgotten about my YARNutopian family. Quite the contrary – in fact, I actually feel so anxious to get back to my crochet, but I simply have to sacrifice something in order to manage life right now. I am still working, but very minimally. I still check in every day and post older links to some fun patterns I’ve shared in the past. I have great expectations in the mornings, but by mid-day I am wiped out by the challenges we have in our home at the moment. This is hard.

I am currently working on a new crochet project. It’s going at a snail’s pace, but it is going. I am trying to navigate this new chapter of our lives while giving myself some grace to be ok with the status quo. When the time comes, Nasir will have some one-on-one time with specialists who will provide what he needs to help him talk and reach his goals, then I will have a few hours each day of respite to get back to crochet. In the meantime, I appreciate your patience, support, and understanding as we keep moving forward. Please continue to watch my videos, visit my blog, and support my pages. I promise, I will be back.

With love and hugs,
Nadia