It’s no secret that my battle with my health has been mostly an uphill one. Numerous surgeries have taken their toll on my body for the past ten years as I continue my fight. My Crohn’s disease has to be considered in every facet of my existence. My life, daily decisions, activity, diet, my body, and my future are ruled by this illness and how it will affect my daily living. After ten years, it is “Normal for Nadia” to be at the mercy of this condition. It just is that way. Like a habit, living with severe Crohn’s disease becomes part of my routine.
Doctor appointments, daily meds, regular testing, procedures, and so many details have worked their way into the fiber of my ordinary existence. Even getting married in March was overshadowed by the very real possibility that I may end up sick or in the hospital on our wedding day. It’s just the reality of living with chronic illness. Fortunately, adrenaline was my friend on March 17, 2018 and it helped carry my aching body through the day without incident! Our wedding was the most glorious day ever. Sure, I paid for it afterwards, but I would do all of that 1,000 times over just to relive that beautiful day!
Hardcore family planning
Nate and I always knew we wanted a family, we also knew that it would not be an easy path to having one. Several months after getting married, we sought help from my doctors to find out if I can safely support a pregnancy since I have such a challenging health history. I underwent a series of tests, some incredibly invasive (dignity be damned). A team of specialists were assembled to oversee my care if we were able to get pregnant. According to all these insane tests, there was no reason, despite my health battle, that I couldn’t get pregnant. We were so relieved! We were aware it would be very risky; the warnings from the medical staff came across loud and clear, but we have confidence in the high-risk team overseeing my care. They were very realistic but also reassuring. I was facing my 28th birthday, and although we weren’t aggressively trying, we weren’t being careful either. So, in early November–two days after my birthday–with symptoms that screamed that I might be pregnant, I went to the store and bought a half dozen pregnancy tests.
My internal dialogue was: “I just spent a small fortune on something I am going to pee on. Who cares!??? I need answers!”
It all comes down to a (+) sign
It was a Friday afternoon, November 9th. My friend Sarah was coming to town for a visit, and I was planning on picking her up at the bus station in a few minutes. I only had a small window to privately check out my pregnancy suspicions. So like millions of women before me, I peed on the stick and nervously waited through the minutes that could change everything. I was pacing, nervous and fidgety. How do you distract yourself for those moments without constantly checking if you have your answer? If “a watched pot never boils,” does frantically fanning a pee stick prolong the results?! Because that 5 minutes felt like a flippin’ lifetime!
The test read (+) and I freaked out! I called my mom on Skype immediately, and I was hyperventilating and crying and couldn’t get out what I needed to say. I completely freaked her out because she thought something tragic had happened. I couldn’t speak, and my dramatic reaction had her thinking the worst. I was able to show her the pregnancy test and get her expert opinion on what it was saying. (Like I didn’t already know, right?!) Were these tests saying what I thought they were saying? Of course they were, but I needed Dr. Mom!!! She talked me through it and asked me what Nate said about it…
Oh. My. Gosh. Nate!!! I had yet to tell Nate! How did I not think of that?
She suggested that maybe I should have called him first! Oh my goodness, absolutely! I was a bit of a frantic mess. Where’s my coat?! I’m wearing it. Where are my keys?! In my hand! I had only a few minutes because Sarah’s bus was about to arrive! I jumped in the car and decided to stop at his work! Woops! Was that a stop sign? Just kidding! I am grateful I didn’t receive a citation on the way to tell my husband!
We are having a baby… What do we do now?
Nate came out to the car and I had the test stick in a Ziploc bag. I told him I have to tell him something and without asking, he just said, “You’re pregnant.” I cried, I laughed, and I shoved the pee stick in the Ziploc at him and told him to look at it. We were so happy! He said he had a strong feeling. He knew. What emotions! So high, but then reality started to sink in like “What are we going to do now”? Even though we didn’t know what direction to take at that exact moment, we would figure it out together. We called my mom again from the car in the parking lot at Nate’s work. After talking to her, we knew I had to see my doctors first. We had to keep this quiet for a while. By all calculations, I was only about six to seven weeks along. Things were so precarious with my health and we wanted to make sure the pregnancy was viable and baby was healthy. We also needed to be sure I was fully healthy enough to actually support a pregnancy. On a scale from one to ten our emotions were off the chart. What ARE we going to do now?! GAHHH! WE ARE HAVING A BABYYYY!!
Game Face and A No Colon Surprise Party
Nate went back to work, and I had to pick up Sarah. How was I going to keep a straight face? How do I keep this from my best friend? Although I was busting to tell her to the point I was getting twitchy, I knew I couldn’t. I am the WORST at keeping a secret, God knows, and it was stressful to not blurt it out! I put on my best game face and decided to get it out of my mind (yeah, right!) and enjoy the weekend. Little did I know that the reason Sarah was really coming to visit was because my mom, Nate, Sarah and Nida were planning a surprise party to celebrate my birthday tied into a No Colon, Still Rollin’ – 10 years later party! WHAT IS HAPPENING!??? Saturday afternoon my entire family and all my friends surprised me and I couldn’t say a word to any of them! I ate three poop emoji cupcakes just from the stress of it all. Only Nate and my parents knew, and I couldn’t talk to them with everyone around! Again, ALL THE EMOTIONS!!!
Thank goodness for poop emoji cupcakes. That’s all I’m sayin’.
Well, it’s true! We’re pregnant.
I scheduled my first appointment and we had our first ultrasound. I knew going into this that it wouldn’t be easy. Nausea, heartburn, extreme fatigue, restless legs, extremely sensitive boobs that have grown 10 times their size, body pains off the charts, visits to the ER to check scary symptoms caused by adhesions from past surgical scar tissue, phantom sharp pains in my non-existent anus, my ostomy is shifting to the side as my tummy begins to grow, the scars on my tummy are being stretched, back pain, sciatic pain, vivid dreams and nightmares, itchiness, sleeplessness, aversion to certain foods, no appetite to ravishing hunger, even more profound vitamin deficiency (particularly folic acid and magnesium), chronic asthma symptoms to the point I need my rescue inhaler constantly and now a nebulizer, and more issues are plaguing me night and day, and I’m only past my first trimester!
But, it’s all worth it.
Especially at that very moment when we saw our baby on the ultrasound.
Suddenly, it all became real. We heard the heartbeat and we laughed and cried.
We called it our “little bean.”
We instantly fell in love.
Our baby is due in June 2019, and our hearts are so full.
What now, doc?
We had our first minor complication. There was a subchorionic hemorrhage (a blood clot) that was found on the ultrasound. The doctor said it happens in implantation, and unless I had excessive bleeding (I was only having some bleeding), not to worry too much about it, and it would be monitored. I also had to cease a bunch of my medications. In stopping the meds, I risk some complications, but I have been managing things pretty well. One medication I can’t stop is my biologic injection. I am so worried about taking it, but I can’t risk getting sick to the point it would put me and baby in danger. My team has warned me over and over not to stop it.
I have to be truthful, I was contemplating stopping my biologic injection. The grave warnings from all my doctors have me reconsidering as I face having to take it this week. There is no evident risk to baby, but to me, if I stop, it would be very grave. I could become too ill and not be well enough to sustain the pregnancy, putting both of us at risk. Every doctor concurs. I do have to stop taking it at thirty weeks into the pregnancy to best insure that baby comes into this world the strongest and healthiest it can be. I am concerned without the protection of any medication to control my disease, my body won’t cooperate. I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am scared. I won’t lie, I know what I am facing, and I know it will be worth it, but I also know this isn’t going to be an easy journey. Nothing this wonderful ever is. I have learned this lesson over and over in my life; I am familiar with how this goes. I am familiar with the bargaining process.
Now we are three!
We are now in the planning stage. I am almost 14 weeks pregnant, and have been following all the doctors’ instruction and am closely monitored. I am also chronicling my pregnancy on The Bump Phone App! According to the app, today our baby is about the size of a lemon! I have regular doctor appointments both with my standard team as well as a high-risk OB-GYN in Rochester, Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic. I couldn’t ask for a better crew of docs overseeing our care! They are so thorough. My last appointment with the specialist was two hours! We are in great hands, and we’re hopeful that things will continue to go well. I just pray that I stay healthy and strong for our little sweet pea. My heart is so full and all I want is to provide the best for this tiny baby despite my challenges.
Merry Christmas to Us!
We told Nyle, Nabeel, Samantha and Des over Thanksgiving. We also went to visit Nate’s dad and gave him a special “Grandpa” shirt.
We also told Nate’s brothers that weekend, too. Other than immediate family and a couple close friends, we decided to wait and reveal our news to everyone else over Christmas! Our family and friends are elated, and some told me they “just had that feeling!”
Today, I wanted to share this with our YARNutopians now that our extended families and close friends received the news. Now, my crochet project list grows! Baby stuff galore! I already have some baby projects on our agenda! What an exciting year of crochet we have ahead of us! I hope to continue with our filming and projects as long as I can and will continue after baby’s arrival! We all have so much to look forward to in the New Year. Not only are we expecting a new addition, but my brother and his wife are also expecting a new baby in January! So many reasons to crochet! Haha! I am excited and filled with joy to share our news with all of you. Cheers to 2019! Thanks for being with us on this crazy and wonderful journey!
“You are so loved, little one.”
~Your Mommy and Daddy
~Nadia and Nate
My family and I wish you only the best at this special time! It’s just so wonderful for you & Nate!
I have so been feeling that your news was going to be this amazing miracle and God will guide all of you through this blessed journey. You fill so many hearts and homes with joy, there will be prayers for you, Nate and lil Bean going up from around the world. Congratulations Amen
OMG AMAZING NEWS : I knew something was up your last few videos…I thought i saw a pregnancy face starting then when you said you had big news to announce …I knew i was right…Nadia i couldn’t be happier for you and Nate…You will be awesome parents ,,,Best news ever CONGRATULATIONS 💖💖💖🙏
Congratulations, so happy for you
Sent from my iPhone
I am so happy for you and Nate. Your glowing like an angel. I can’t wait to see the little one. So many congratulations to you both. You deserve this.
Congratulations, Nadia! Wishing you the best health for you and your little bean! I’m so happy for y’all
Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you both!! It’s funny, when I found out that I was pregnant with my son, 21 yrs, ago, we also said “what now?” Because there is no turning back. You guys will do great and parenting will just come naturally. Can’t wait to follow you in your journey and eventually see your precious sweet pea in June. Good luck; you will be fine!!
Congratulations on the new addition you can do this like an expert.
Congratulations! Do we need to start knitting?
So very happy for you. I became a grandma last May. I am 72 and thought I never would be one. It is the best! Congratulations!
Congratulations! Now I know why you were glowing in the picture with the bride and groom!!!
Much Love and Prayers for you all
I am so happy for you and your family prayers XOXO
Congratulations!! I am so HAPPY for you and Nate. I will keep all of you in prayer. Be Blessed!!
Congratulations ! I just started crocheting from your videos which have been so very helpful! I am so very happy for you! I will keep you in my prayers!
Congratulations, Nadia & Nate! What a wonderful time in your lives!
I will be praying for you that you will stay strong & your health will allow this pregnancy to bring you great joy.
Merry Christmas from New Mexico & thanks for sharing your journey!
CONGRATULATIONS !!!!, I am so happy for you both .
Wonderful news! Thanks for sharing….. congratulations!
congratulations I know this is a new journey for you and nate
Tears of joy. I feel like I just read a family members announcement. Thank you for including us. Im itching to make you something. Is it possible to mail you a little something for that beautiful baby? Again congratulations and be blessed.
I’m so happy for you! Congratulations! it’s hard to type because I’m sitting here crying I’m so happy for you. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you have a uneventful pregnancy. Best of luck to you and Nate. And Bean!
Congrats and many blessings for you both and your “little bean” You will be in my prayers you will remain healthy and strong. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
Congratulations on your upcoming arrival.
Prayers for healthy exciting journey.
Best wishes from Las Vegas
I am sooooo excited for you both. You will be an amazing mom. Congratulations❤
Omg!!! What a wonderful news!!! I am happy for both of you. I wish you the best. I will be praying for you that everything keeps going well. I am a big fan of you and thank you for sharing this wonderful news with us!!! That makes us feel special!!! Even my daughter that’s 11yr old and sees your videos is happy and excited too. We want to thank you once again I wish you lots of health and prosperity in your pregnancy and after too. Keep us posted. We love you and send you a big hug. Happy New year’s to you and the family!!!😘🤗💝👶🍼💝🎁
Congratulations to you both, so so happy for you~there is nothing more special than bringing a new life into this world!
A lovely couple becomes 3. Congratulations and wishing you all the sweetness life has to offer. She or he will be the best dressed baby ever!
Best news ever! Congrats!
Congratulations I’m so happy for you both.
Congratulations! Many Blessings on your soon-to-be threesome! In honor of your coming event I will make 3 baby blankets to donate to the babies at the local hospital! !( And maybe a few more, it’s hard to stop the hook, he,he.)
I am so happy for you!!!! A baby!!! Yay!!!!
This brought me to happy tears! Congratulations! You, Baby, & Nate will be in my prayers.
Congrats to you guys, such an exciting time in your life ❤️
Congratulations to the both of you! I’m so happy for you both!!! <3<3<3
Congratulations! I’ve been following you for years and I think this is the happiest post from you yet! So happy for you both!
Oh how lovely!!! Congratulations!!!
I am so excited for you guys & can’t wait to see what you create for your new arrival!
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations. I’m doing my happy dance for y’all. And I’m praying for as smooth of a pregnancy as you can have. I am so happy for you guys.
I am so happy for the both of you. God definitely works in mysterious ways that we will never fathom.
I pray for both you and your new Miracle. Stay humble, trust the process and continue to do as your team has required of. Many blessings and thank you both for sharing your testimony with us all. To God be the Glory.
Many, many Blessings to each of you and especially the little pea. How exciting. You are such a special woman who gives and gives, thank you for including us in your great news and keeping us informed about your health. HUGS!!
Such a blessing! Keeping you in my prayers.
Also, sorry, for all the special creations that you take so much time and energy to give to us, thanks!
Congratulations to you both!! I’m so delighted for you, I understand how vicious your crohns can be, but it sounds like you are in good hands and hopefully the pregnancy will as normal as possible. There is one thing I’m certain of…. Your baby will have the best yarnie wardrobe of clothes, blankets and toys ever!!!
ohmygosh!! Congratulations Nadia & Nate!! i had a feeling… Started saying prayers for you all and will continue to do so!!! What a beautiful and special blessing &may God keep you both happy and healthy on this wonderful journey!! so very happy for your whole family! 😍👼❤
Omg Nadia I am beyond happy for you sweet lady. You so deserve this beautiful baby! I’m super excited for you and Nate. Congratulations a million times over. Much love for you guys and baby bean. Donna hayes and family ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations!!!! Wishing you guys all the best!!
Congratulations! Bring on the crochet baby items!
Grats guys, what a blessing. I live with ulcerative colitis myself, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and herniated disks in my back. I know a bit about what you speak about. It’s not easy. One thing I learned is I’m only human and I’m allowed to lose it every so often. I try not to kick myself down the street for it. Those hormones will wreak havoc with your emotions. Go easy on yourself nadia.
I find myself going through mental-pause and man alive, my poor husband. I’m saying sorry so much these days that I’m sure I’m saying it when I talk in my sleep. I’m so blessed to have such a loving, understanding man in my life. God is my hope, without him I’d be lost for sure. 2 wonderful sons, despite my health issues, 3 dogs, 5 birds, a cat and 2 fish tanks, my garden, camper, a lovely place to live, what more could a girl need. Your at the beginning of a beautiful journey, God bless you all, all the best and your in my prayers. I’m so very happy for you both that you found each other and now have a beautiful baby to look forward too!. 2019 here you come and thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story and talent. I’m having a blast working on the pixel afgan for our eldest. Hes going to be blown away hehe. He has a mini classic controller on his keys and a Nintendo lanyard lol. This is going to be so perfect!.
Congratulations on your pending new arrival! It’s been 34 years since I was last pregnant and I can still remember the morning sickness with our last daughter. I was sick 24/7 for a couple of months. And I’d do it all over again. Best wishes to you and Nate. You are in my thoughts and prayers.