Why Nasir Came Early

Why Nasir Came Early

It has been 4 weeks since Nasir was born. He came into this world a true miracle and is perfect in every way. I am overjoyed that he is here, happy, healthy and growing like crazy. His due date was June 30th and throughout my high-risk pregnancy, it was understood that with so many health issues, surgeries, and not having a rectum or anus, the probability for me to deliver him in a traditional birth was going to be out of the question. I was told by not one, two, or three doctors but EVERY doctor on the team, that it would be the safest for me to have him via c-section and to do it a week before his due date. Although this didn’t coincide with my idea of the “ideal birth plan,” I ONLY cared about having a safe and healthy delivery for me and safe birth for him. It doesn’t matter how our babies enter the world, it only  matters that they arrive safely in our arms!

 

High Risk Pregnancy

Throughout my pregnancy, many of you are aware that I had numerous issues not only with my Crohn’s disease but also that I had to cease all my medications that keep my disease in remission. I also had severe Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, I had problems with tearing my adhesions and scar tissue from previous abdominal surgeries, I have a Septate Uterus, I had terrible sciatica, I had anemia, I lacked the nutritional support for myself and Nas because I don’t have my large intestine or parts of my small intestine, and I had a herniated ostomy that prolapsed. Because my anatomy isn’t like most, my intestine pooled to one side of my body and my baby was restricting the digestive flow. I also had the general issues of constant heartburn and swelling like a lot of moms-to-be deal with. I tried to be grateful, thankful, happy, joyful, and appreciative for this miracle; and I was. However, I won’t sugar-coat it, I was freaking miserable in my body. I hurt every single day and probably complained to Nate or my mom incessantly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. all while keeping a smile on my face and forging ahead because I kept telling myself that if this is the sacrifice I have to make to have him here, then I can do this! It was only temporary. My “this too shall pass” mantra was on repeat every moment of every day. I was miserable. But, just to be clear, I would do it ALL over in a heartbeat for this outcome. Nasir is magical…

 

Things weren’t going well

Over a month before I was to deliver, I was rushed by ambulance from the hospital in La Crosse, Wisconsin up to Mayo Clinic Hospital in Rochester, Minnesota because I had a severe infection and could not keep anything in. I needed IV support and to be monitored because they thought our baby would make an appearance MUCH earlier than we thought. I was so scared. I was alone in the ambulance with the lights and sirens going as we rushed down the highway. I knew Nate was somewhere in a car behind me, my mom also, but being alone and not knowing what would happen was terrifying.

Thankfully, the doctors were able to hold off delivering Nas and just treat the infection. I was hospitalized for about a week before going home, but we were advised that due to the complicated nature of my pregnancy, I would be on “bed rest” (which couldn’t actually be bed rest because I have a history of forming blood clots), so I took it really easy. The doctors recommended I move to temporary housing in Rochester to be closer to the hospital, and I was there a few days before things began to decline again. Read more about our Temporary Transition here.

 

We couldn’t wait any longer

Although I was advised to hold off on delivering Nasir for as long as possible to give him the best chance for development, the doctors also understood the gravity of my health situation and knew it would be dangerous to wait too long. Not long after my hospitalization, I was still having problems and was not doing well. I woke up on the Wednesday before he was born feeling terrible. My entire body felt like I had one big bruise covering every inch of my skin. EVERYTHING hurt. The slightest touch hurt, and I was swelling up like a balloon. I called, and the doctors said to meet them up at the hospital. My mom took me in because Nate was at work. After a short examination, the doctors suspected that my infection set off a full body flare of my Crohn’s disease. They couldn’t wait any longer. If they didn’t deliver him soon, I might have gone into labor and could have potentially faced a threatening situation where it would be too late to assemble the ENTIRE team of doctors necessary to bring Nasir into this world and keep me safe in the process. Not only was my disease creating a serious health risk, the baby was breech. There was no time left. It would be way too perilous to wait and risk going into labor and a vaginal delivery. Delivery was scheduled immediately for next morning.

I crumbled under the weight of everything and started to cry.

I wanted more time for him to develop. I was scared for him, what if something went wrong, I was worried about the risks, and the surgery and, and, and….and then I took a deep breath.

I called Nate at work.

“You need to come to Rochester right now. They are going to deliver our baby tomorrow morning…”

“Are you serious? Is this for real?”

“Yes, just please come as soon as you can. I need you…”

I don’t know if Nate could even think after that phone call, if he could even concentrate enough to finish his work for the day, or if he was on autopilot all the way up to Rochester. He made it up there by 10 pm that night and we stayed up nearly all night talking. He kept reassuring me the entire time that everything will be OK.

 

An assembly of sixteen

When Nate and I arrived at the hospital the next day, along with my mom, dad, and my brother, I was ushered into a room immediately. I was a bundle of nervous energy but also ready to meet my baby!!

Shortly after arriving, I was given an IV and little by little the entire assembly of doctors and nurses ushered in team by team to see me. All in all there would be 16 medical staff in the room with us to deliver Nasir. HOLY MACARONI!! 16!!! I was only allowed one other person with me, and of course that was Nate. I was then taken into the OR alone while he was told to get garbed up.

 

 

While I was in the OR, it was freezing. More IVs were placed. There were so many lights, so many machines, so many instruments, and so many people. I started to shake uncontrollably.  I was given an epidural and a spinal, but the placement was giving me issues. They kept telling me to sit still. I couldn’t stop shaking. I hugged a pillow tightly to my front while they put the needles in my spine. It took forever. At one point, I felt a severe pain in my hip. They hit a nerve and my leg involuntarily shot out and kicked without me doing it. Yeah, this wasn’t working. They moved it a little higher in my spine and it was better.

 

From there, things moved so fast.

I was put on a table with my arms spread out wide. I had all the IVs in me, they erected a curtain up in front of me. So many people ushered in and out. The anesthesiologists, the surgery team, the OB-GYN team, the colorectal team, the nurses..SO MANY people! That team of 16 was in full action!

I wanted Nate and asked them to check on him. They said he was outside pacing. I wanted him with me, and it wasn’t much longer and he was able to come back into the OR. As soon as he walked in, they started to open me up. The doctors were wonderful about talking me through every step. I had the best cheerleader by my side. Nate was incredible. The anesthesia team was also very supportive and kept encouraging me softly, cheering for me, kept me comfortable, and just made me feel safe. I get choked up just thinking of these moments–moments I wanted to be fully present to remember.

I started to feel a severe pain in my right shoulder and started to get afraid. I told the doctor and they said they had my uterus out. The uterus is connected to the nerves in the shoulder and the pain I was experiencing was called “referred pain.”

 

He’s here!

It was only moments later when we heard our baby’s tiny cries. Nate started sobbing, I started sobbing. They lifted him over the screen so we could see him. My first thought was how tiny he was. They quickly moved him to the warming table so Nate could trim the cord and the team moved fast to get all the baby stats. Within moments, they brought this tiny naked baby to me and laid him on my chest. I could barely see or breathe I was crying so hard. HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. So precious. My miracle.

 

 

 

It took some time for the surgeons to close me up because they had to clear out scar tissue from former surgeries. They excised my old scar from the time I had the wound vac, and cleaned all of that tissue to make my incision a cleaner closure. It took quite a while, but I wasn’t even paying a moment of attention to that. Instead I was counting toes and fingers, memorizing my little boys face, and through my tears and laughter, I was rejoicing in this miracle.

Read more about Nasir’s arrival and see more photos here.

 

We are a family

As I was wheeled into a recovery room, Nate went to tell my family that our baby arrived. We wanted a few minutes alone to relish our first moments as a family of three. We also had an overflow of emotion that was just indescribable and we wanted to bask in the intimacy of sharing these very personal feelings together.

I remember when they lifted our baby over the screen after we heard his cries. I recall looking at him and instantly knowing that his name in my heart would be Nasir, but I didn’t say anything. To be fair, I wanted to hear Nate’s thoughts about his name. As soon as I asked him what our baby’s name should be, he said Nasir! We both felt it. We both knew. His name is Nasir Nathan.

Nasir is a Pakistani/Arabic name that means “Victorious,” and there is no more appropriate name fitting to this little boy than that. After all I have been through, all the health struggles and trials, I look at him and I know it was all for this moment.

This miracle.

This victory.

~Nadia

 

He’s Here: Our Newest YARNutopian

He’s Here: Our Newest YARNutopian

 

We would like to introduce our new baby boy to our YARNutopia community. There are NO words to express how much we are in love with this precious little peanut and how it feels to be first time parents; so instead of doing that at this time, we ask you to please enjoy these exclusive beautiful photos – many of which are being shared here for the very first time.

He arrived a little earlier than expected, and although nothing about his delivery was easy, in the end, holding him in our arms was so worth it! Oh. MY. Gosh. THE LOVE!

Nate and I are overwhelmed with joy and want to share our happiness with our online family community. As soon as I am feeling better, I will write a little more about this entire experience in detail!

So many people tried to tell us how this would feel. NOTHING compares to the real thing. NOTHING!! WE ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HIM!

Name: Nasir Nathan
Born June 13th, 2019 at 12:15pm
Weight: 6 lbs, 12 oz.
Length:  18.9 inches

Things we observed so far: He has his Daddy’s face and wavy dark hair, but he has Mommy’s nose and dimples. He has long fingers like Mommy but Daddy’s toes lol. As we continue to discover one another, we look forward to finding more of these amazing connections. It is the most profound feeling ever to meet this tiny human, see pieces of ourselves in him, and know that we made him!

A Temporary Transition

A Temporary Transition

As some of you may have noticed, I have been somewhat MIA on my social media and on my blog for a little bit. I have been posting and have been a little active, just not as much as I usually am. There’s a reason for that.

Last week, I ended up in the hospital. I was having a lot of issues with my body and baby, so I went into the Emergency Room. The doctors here in La Crosse, WI did not feel confident, and the scope of my issues were outside of the range they felt comfortable dealing with. They felt things were emergent to either med-flight or rush me to Mayo Hospital in Rochester, Minnesota.

It was decided that was going to be rushed by ambulance, but Nate could not accompany me on the ride. He came behind and my mom met us up at Mayo Hospital. I was in the hospital for nearly a week with several complications making it impossible for me to manage at home.

It was decided that upon release from the hospital, I could return home short term while a social worker from the hospital would work on a short term relocation plan for me. For these last few weeks before delivery, I will be staying in Rochester near the hospital in an extended stay apartment. This way, I will be close by the hospital in case anything emergent happens again.

What is going on?

In the recent blog where I shared my pregnancy photos, I mentioned that the doctors have taken me off of all my medications that help to keep my Crohn’s disease under control while I work towards remission. Now, off of the medication, my body has started to get weaker. I ended up with an infection and the infection put my body into a full-on flare.

Since I don’t have a large intestine, my small intestine has to learn the job of what its old companion had done. I have to draw my nourishment, vitamins, minerals, fluids, and much more from my small intestine similarly to what the body does with the large intestine. Not only do I rely on that intake, that same intake is what is helping to keep baby healthy. When I got sick last week, the function of the small intestine failed me, and my body was having a difficult time absorbing ANYTHING. This made it difficult to keep food down, my body was severely dehydrated, and some of my blood test numbers were dropping making it difficult to keep my nourishment markers where they needed to be.

Because I am pregnant, normal options for treatment aren’t always viable because they can affect the baby. There were so many limitations that the doctors could treat me with. It took some time and patience, but we were able to find a way for me to gain some control over my body without causing more stress to me or baby. At least, for now, it was enough to go home and prepare for this upcoming relocation.

What will this mean for YARNutopia?

I am home for a few days. Soon, I will transition to an apartment closer to the hospital in Minnesota. I will stay there temporarily until our baby is born. Nate will be with me on the weekends, and my mom will be coming to stay with me during the weekdays, as I can’t be alone. All my care will continue through Mayo Clinic in Rochester.

(Pictured above is a photo of my mom and me in the hospital last week)

(Pictured above is me, feeling better)

Because of this transition, I won’t be able to be as active or as present on my social media sites. I won’t be checking out completely though! No way! I love my social media! I will, however, be taking a small step back to get things under control with my health and prepare for delivery. There are LOTS of appointments, checkups, and tests to be done in these last few weeks! But don’t worry! I will do what I can, when I can! So, please keep checking the Facebook page, click on the links I share, share photos of your work. I’ll be crocheting to pass some time, and I hope to keep on keeping on. I will be sure to check in as often as I can!!

I will also try to update you as much as possible. Until baby arrives, the most I will be doing is trying to keep as healthy as I can so he can be inside growing and developing. We need him to be the strongest he can be! We are almost to his due date, so we are hoping for a not so bumpy ride to get there! Haha!

In the next few weeks, I am still hopeful to post some new blogs, a few new posts, and whatever I can do, but in the meantime, I will pull from the archives some great classic patterns, some oldies but goodies, and I will share work from my fellow designers! And once baby is here and I am recovered, I will be back better and stronger than ever!

Until then, Happy Hooking!

~Nadia

World IBD Day: Spread the Word

Today, May 19th, is World IBD Day. More than 5 million people across the globe suffer – often in silence – from inflammatory bowel diseases including Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. I, Nadia, am one of those 5 million people, and those that know me know I will not stay silent. As long as I have a voice or platform, I will use it to help build awareness and rally for so many who continue to suffer or are no longer with us because complications from these devastating diseases have claimed their lives. Some of my closest friends have lost their fight and yet there are still people who have never even heard of IBD! How is this even possible?!

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Hospital

Hospital

I have VERY progressive Crohn’s disease. I was wrongly diagnosed at the age of 16 which sent my life on a hellish journey against this overwhelming monster.

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Crohn’s disease is a VERY serious chronic auto-immune disease causing inflammation, bleeding, swelling, and ulcerations in the entire gastrointestinal tract. There is NO cure. I have undergone life altering surgeries to remove my entire large intestine, parts of my small intestine, my rectum, and now, I live with a permanent ileostomy as a result of the destruction this disease has wreaked on my body.

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When most people look at me the most common response I get is, “but you don’t look sick.” I shouldn’t have to bear my scars to prove that I am. I have suffered through countless hospital stays, surgeries, complications, and infections. I have been the subject of multiple studies and treatments in a quest to get this illness into remission. Presently, I am taking a potent biologic drug recently approved for the treatment of Crohn’s disease, and it has shown great promise. For the first time in 8 years, I have been out of the hospital for over 140 consecutive days and am enjoying every ounce of my life that I can.

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When one lives with chronic illness we become savvy at hiding our pain. Some suffer completely in silence behind a mask that hides how terribly ill they truly are. Today, on World IBD Day, and on every day we cry out for recognition – to stop patronizing attitudes of “but you don’t look sick.” Tell me, how is sick supposed to look? To stop having IBD labeled as a ‘bathroom disease.’ To end misconceptions like if you ‘change your diet or avoid stress, everything will be alright.’ To minimize the ridiculous ad campaigns that exist further stigmatizing this illness. Today, we continue to educate, support, and build awareness so that one day a cure will exist for Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis and no more lives are lost. One life gone is too many. This is just a small part of the truth behind IBD.

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To EVERYONE reading my post, I implore you to educate yourself and make Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis a household name. Talk about IBD so you can educate others through this example. Surprisingly, once you open the door to conversation, you will find others who are also there fighting a battle of their own. Please spread the word.

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~Nadia